Dear Diary: Should I Have a Threesome?
Myself and my partner are quite adventurous when it comes to our sex life and we love to try new things. For a while now we have been on a swinging website, where we talk to other people and couples about our interests and experiences and in some cases people would hook up. I love chatting to other people alongside my partner and it turns me so much, although I have a problem… I’m not sure I want a threesome!
The thought of another couple or guy or girl joining us makes me excited and often think about scenarios where this could happen and will talk to others and making a little narrative about what would happen if we meet, this excites me! I have chatted to many guys; I just enjoy chatting to and talking about their experiences and interests, however I freeze when they then suggests we should meet in person. Many thoughts go through my head, is this a bad idea? Are me and my partner going to enjoy it with no regrets? What if he turns out of be a weirdo?… and many more.
Throughout these conversations with people, many often say the sex turns out to be pretty amazing. However, there have been situations where a person had joined a couple and has felt uncomfortable. This experience included them feeling vulnerable and made to keep up with the pace of their sex life and participate in things they did not discussed prior to the arrangement. This got me thinking if myself and partner meet up with a guy what if he takes it too far and I can’t tell my partner that I’m not enjoying it or if I want to slow down. Some people that participate in threesome do this on a regular basis and will be blind to the additional person’s vulnerability.
As a couple we have the advantage, being that there is two of us and we could some what manage the situation, and make sure that the extra person is comfortable. My worry is that what if I don’t like it after being so confident and turned on by the chat? Am I going to just freeze and waste the person’s time. Myself and my partner enjoy talking to others and I am quite confident in talking about sex and situations that might happen and what I want to do, but not knowing if I would do it makes me feel as if I am pretending. Am I just saying these things cause I know that’s what they want me to say, or do I actually mean it?
When getting to know people you will often in time share images to excite the other, and make it a little more realistic. However, when I come to meet this person is it what they expect? Are they going to want to have sex with me? Being a bigger girl this a insecurity I have deep down often, this is why I make it clear of my size so that in some bizarre way they won’t be disappointed… I know it sounds stupid! (I totally know I am sexy!)
The whole situation brings out a lot of insecurities and anxiety. The frustrating thing is I still don’t know if I want a threesome!
